I am an avid music fan. I listen to it, I read about it and I play it. I like music to surround me like a soundtrack. I find music such a powerful medium. Music comforts me, it lifts me up, in essence, like many other people it evokes powerful emotions in me.
This last week has been without doubt, the most difficult week of my life so far. I am currently off work with depression, Cafcass are on the brink of ‘giving up’ on my two oldest children and I am on the brink of running out of money for legal fees. I simply miss my children who I have now not seen for 8 and a half months. The constant battle to see my children is all consuming, it dominates my life. This last week I have been physically and mentally exhausted.
So what’s this got to do with music? Well, today I have been revisiting U2’s 1993 album Zooropa. Track 7 ‘Some Days are Better Than Others‘ has resonated with me the most today as I have reflected back on the week just gone.
“Some days take less, but most days take more, some slip through your fingers and onto the floor.”
The song starts with a thumping bass line from Adam Clayton and builds to a typical U2 chorus. The Edge’s distinctive guitar style carries the song along, while being underpinned by Larry Mullen Jr’s unique drumming style. As much as Bono is viewed by many as divisive, in my humble opinion he is a skilled lyricist.
‘Some days take less, but most days take more, some slip through your fingers and onto the floor,’ Bono sings, as I reflect back on a week where some days I have found it difficult to get out of bed and cope with the magnitude of what I am currently faced with.
‘Some days you hear a voice, taking you to another place…,’ I have considered giving up. That is not an option.
‘Some days are sulky, some days have a grin, and some days have bouncers and won’t let you in…‘ At times during the last week a glimmer of hope fades away as quickly as it appears. I have simply found it difficult to cope with some days. At times the constant uphill struggle has hit me like a sledgehammer.
“To be able to love and be loved is an amazing feeling. It is a privilege not to be wasted.”
This song also prompted me to reminisce about going with friends to see U2 at the former Wembley stadium in 1993. This positive memory reminding me of how amazing and precious life is. To share your life with those around you is an amazing thing. This in turn evoked in me the feeling of how amazing life can be. To be able to love and be loved is an amazing feeling. It is a privilege not to be wasted.
For as long as I am prevented from seeing my children I will continue to miss them more than words can describe. However I am just one of thousands of alienated parents out there. Some in much worse scenarios than mine. Some parents are out there struggling alone.
At times life is difficult, but I am fortunate that I have amazing support from amazing people. And to them I am eternally grateful. Thank you. Xx.
Simply put ‘some days are better than others‘.
I am an alienated parent of three. Part-time psychiatric nurse, part-time writer. I am also an online activist against parental alienation. I use my knowledge of mental health and lived experience of parental alienation to promote awareness of parental alienation.