To those unfamiliar with this blog, this is a cathartic narrative of my numerous experiences in battling parental alienation. See here for a definition of parental alienation.
In writing these numerous posts I tend to veer away from going into too much detail of the numerous conversations I have with services and so called “professionals” as most are uninteresting and tedious to read.
“If we can’t laugh in the face of adversity when can we?”
However very recently I received an email from a ‘professional’ that works at my children’s school. This was in response to a request for help I have been making since May this year. I wish to share these comments with others for two reasons. The sheer astounding nature of the comments made and ironically, for entertainment purposes. If we can’t laugh in the face of adversity when can we?
But first if I may l would like to give the reader some context. Unknown to me at the time, sometime last year my ex went to my children’s school and made a number of false allegations against me. The school were led to believe that following our separation, my whereabouts were not known and that I had abandoned my children and no longer wanted anything to do with any of them. For extra drama it had also been reported to the school that I had stolen the family savings. Suffice to say, none of these claims are true.
However this is the nature of parental alienation. Such seeds of negativity planted in the minds of ‘the right people’ are an invaluable tool for the alienating parent. These ‘claims’ aid and support the alienating parent in tarnishing and undermining the character and reputation of the targeted parent. So, lo and behold when I approached the school to request help for my children they were and still are cold, clinical and aloof. Their approach, they claim is to ‘remain impartial.’
During one of several visits to the school last year I engaged in a lengthy conversation with the ‘professional’ who is the subject of this article. In the interests of maintaining a level of both professionalism and confidentiality I will hence forth refer to this ‘professional’ as Ms Clown. I opened the conversation by talking about the nature of parental alienation. Ms Clown however immediately attempted to challenge my understanding of parental alienation by firmly informing me that “we must be careful when talking about parental alienation!”
During the same conversation Ms Clown disclosed to me that my ex had actually made the false claims to her in person. Bingo! I thought to myself. What a valuable nugget of information. Since then I have been politely but relentlessly asking Ms Clown for a written statement regarding my ex’s false allegations made to Ms Clown.
Unsusprisingly Ms Clown has ignored my numerous emails over the last couple of months. In response to this lack of reply I took a somewhat firmer and evidenced based approach. I challenged the school’s lack of support for my children in attempting to minimise the emotional abuse being inflicted on them. I also politely and appropriately highlighted the school’s lack of knowledge of both emotional abuse and parental alienation.
The following is an excerpt from Ms Clown’s reply to my above mentioned comments:
“With T’s (my son, aged 11) permission, I passed on his wishes and feelings to you, which clearly stated he did not want contact with you, and that this was his own choice and not a decision made for him by his mother.” This was Ms Clown’s attempt to reassure me that she had been giving me appropriate help and support, as per my requests. Ms Clown appears very confident in her judgement that this was T’s own choice and “not a decision made for him by his mother.” At this point I would like to point out that somewhat remarkably Ms Clown is actually the Mental Health Liaison worker for all the schools in the local area.
With regards to her above comment, she clearly felt that she had not highlighted her ignorance of parental alienation enough. Therefore she then went on to make the following comment. “I hope you are able to resolve your feelings of parental alienation.”
“Please Ms Clown there’s no need to go on and make yourself look even more stupid!”
I know what some readers may be thinking. “It’s okay Ms Clown, we now understand how ignorant you are of parental alienation. Please Ms Clown there’s no need to go on and make yourself look even more stupid!” But no, she did not stop there! She was absolutely determined to provide further evidence of her complete lack of comprehension regarding parental alienation with the following comment:
“T (my son) was clearly upset about some of the things that had allegedly happened, for which he was encouraged to keep an open mind and to be aware of being drawn into adult issues. I feel this must have been understandably very difficult to hear and seems to have further fuelled your thoughts that his mother is preventing the contact.”
In terms of entertainment value this last comment is my absolute favourite. Ms Clown appears to be astoundingly comfortable making such a flippant and biased assumption that her handing over of such information to me is “fuelling my thoughts that his mother is preventing the contact.”
Well, what more can I say? She has certainly put a lot of work into convincing me that she knows absolutely nothing about parental alienation. It’s a shame that such a work ethic can not be employed supporting my children who are being emotionally abused on a daily basis at home by their very own mother.
The Lebanese-American financier Ziad K. Abdelnour once said, “Always remember, rumours are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots.”
I am an alienated parent of three. Part-time psychiatric nurse, part-time writer. I am also an online activist against parental alienation. I use my knowledge of mental health and lived experience of parental alienation to promote awareness of parental alienation.