Today was a tough day for me. Today it was my birthday. The day I would have loved to have shared with my grandchildren, but I couldn’t. The reason why? I am an alienated grandmother, that is the reason why.
For those of you unaware of what parental alienation actually is please see here for full details.
I missed seeing them on my birthday, I missed hearing them shout “happy birthday nanny!” I missed watching their faces as I open the presents they would have got me. I missed reading the birthday cards with their handwritten messages in.
I missed them so much today, but then I miss them every day of my life. I wonder if they miss me, I wonder if they would have remembered today was their Nanny’s birthday. I wonder if they thought of me, as I thought of them. I like to think they did. I have to believe they did or how else will I go on.
“These are the moments, hours, days of their lives and mine, that we can never recover.”
I hope they know how much I love them. Then there are their birthdays, which I can no longer share with them. Yet again this is because I am an alienated grandparent. I don’t know how this came about. I have done nothing wrong. My grandchildren have done nothing wrong. So why are we not allowed to share these special days together anymore?
I am missing seeing them growing up. These are the moments, hours, days of their lives and mine, that we can never recover. That we will never get back. And that is what breaks my heart. So today has been extra tough.
I have to hope tomorrow will be a little easier as this is the life of an alienated grandparent.