[Warning: The following paragraphs contain a disproportionate amount of sarcasm!]
I attended a meeting earlier today. I was told it was a really important meeting. I was also told it was about the welfare of my children. I was also told lots of important professionals would be attending. I was also told it was imperative I attend, in order for my opinions and views to be heard.
For those of you unfamiliar with my writing, I am what is known as an alienated parent. Due to contact denial by my ex, I have now not seen my children since summer last year (2016).
My children claim they no longer want anything to do with me. My ex has effectively brainwashed my children against me. She allows them to believe I left them, and that I no longer want anything else to do with them.
It has been evidenced by numerous professionals that she is exhibiting alienating behaviours. It has also been evidenced by numerous professionals that she is effectively emotionally abusing them day in and day out.
She has been ordered to stop by numerous Judges, Court Orders and some really important professionals. However she continues to put the work in and my children remain alienated against me, all thanks to her unrelenting alienating and brainwashing behaviours.
For those of you unaware of what parental alienation is, please see here for a more detailed description.
Anyway, back to this very important meeting. My friend and I were escorted into the meeting room at the same time as my ex and her friend. Then all the very important professionals entered one by one.
“The poor grammar and punctuation gave the impression of either someone being rushed, not giving a shit or both. Who knows!”
The customary round the table introductions was facilitated in such a manner that it reminded me of being at a funeral wake. Even though all these very important professionals were clearly attending this very important meeting, they all appeared to have the same dull facial expression and uninterested overall demeanour. That of someone that appears to have something much more important to do with his or her time.
A social worker then read out his concerns from a report he had been required to write, of which we had all been supplied copies. The poor grammar and punctuation gave the impression of either someone being rushed, not giving a shit or both. Who knows!
I requested to interject as it clearly became apparent to me that he had misquoted me in his report. He would not relent, he was adamant I had said what I said. We were asked to agree to disagree and move on.
“Why don’t you both just grow up!”
Anyway readers I will spare you any further details, for reasons of confidentiality and so as not to bore the hell out of you all.
As we started to conclude discussions, each of these really important professionals were given the opportunity to give their final statements and findings. My particular favourite comment from one of the professionals (whose remit I will not disclose) was, “why don’t you both just grow up!” Wow, what an incredibly supportive, insightful, professional and compassionate comment to make, I thought to myself. But wait it gets worse…
A short while later, my ex’s friend (who was sitting next to me) made the following comment to me, “this is all about what you want as a father isn’t it!” This comment presented itself to me as an incredibly misplaced sense of loyalty to her friend; the victim mother in this situation.
However this friend, who was previously a mutual friend of mine too, prior to her turning to the dark side of parental alienation, appeared completely oblivious to the role she was now playing as an enabler of parental alienation.
Please see an earlier post of mine entitled An Open Letter to Enablers of Parental Alienation. This article highlights the key role enablers play in the tactics of an alienating parent.
In response to her above comment I replied “that’s a strong statement to make.” To this she replied, “well, that’s my opinion.” I said nothing further in response, what is the point I thought to myself.
When it got to my turn to make any concluding comments I started to inquire about parental alienation and which organisations recognise it and which don’t. This inquiry was not deemed relevant by the Chair. She quickly moved proceedings on to the next person.
“Nevermind, this is only about the welfare of three young children!”
“So what was the outcome of this very important meeting today?” I hear you all ask. Effectively nothing! My children remain in an abusive environment and that’s it.
Oh shit! I almost forgot, there was an outcome I forgot to mention. We have another meeting planned! But we have no goals or aims to work towards in readiness for this next meeting. Nevermind, this is only about the welfare of three young children!
In honour of all the important professionals that attended today’s meeting and their overall conduct I would like to finish with a somewhat fitting quote.
The character of General Melchett who is the incompetent World War I General featured in the British comedy show Blackadder Goes Forth makes the following statement: “If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through.”
I am an alienated parent of three. Part-time psychiatric nurse, part-time writer. I am also an online activist against parental alienation. I use my knowledge of mental health and lived experience of parental alienation to promote awareness of parental alienation.